The Weight of Being the Fixer: When You Just Want to Be Heard

For as long as I can remember, I have been the one people turn to when things go wrong. The one who listens without judgment, who offers solutions, who holds space for others even when my own world is unraveling. I have been the fixer – the person who always finds a way to mend what is broken, to heal what is hurting, and to hold together what is falling apart.

But lately, I’ve been asking myself: What happens when the fixer needs fixing? Who listens to the one who is always listening?

The Unseen Burden of Always Being Strong

People admire strength. They applaud resilience. They are grateful when someone can hold their pain without complaint. But what they don’t often realize is that the strong ones – the fixers – are sometimes the loneliest people in the room.

When you are the person everyone depends on, they assume you don’t need help. They believe you always have it figured out. They lean on you so much that they forget you, too, might be struggling to stand.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve suppressed my own pain because someone else needed me. I’ve hidden my exhaustion behind a smile, swallowed my sadness because I didn’t want to burden others. I’ve become so used to being the one who listens that I don’t even know what it feels like to be truly heard anymore.

I Don’t Want to Fix Everything Anymore

For the longest time, I thought my purpose was to fix things. To be the one who makes things better, even when it costs me my own peace. But I’m realizing now that fixing isn’t always healing.

Healing isn’t about carrying everyone else’s weight while drowning under my own. It’s not about finding solutions to problems that aren’t mine to solve. Healing is about being seen, being heard, and being held – without expectation, without the pressure to always be okay.

I don’t want to be the fixer anymore. I want to be the one who is listened to, who is comforted, who is allowed to break without being rushed to put the pieces back together.

Choosing Myself, One Step at a Time

Walking away from the role of the fixer isn’t easy. It means learning to set boundaries, to say no without guilt, to ask for help even when it feels unfamiliar. It means understanding that I am not responsible for saving everyone – and that it’s okay if I don’t have all the answers.

So today, I make a choice. A choice to step back. To release the weight of fixing things that are beyond my control. To remind myself that my worth is not tied to how much I can help others, but to the fact that I, too, am human.

And most importantly, I choose to believe that I deserve the same kindness, patience, and love that I so freely give to others.

If you’ve ever felt like the fixer, if you’ve ever been the one holding everything together while silently falling apart – this is your reminder that you don’t always have to be the strong one. You are allowed to rest, to be held, and to be heard.

Because you matter, too.